“Its still amazing how so much can change within a year, six months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds”
I didn’t think I would be back writing this series again or writing about it on this blog. I had it all planned out to halt personal writings on this blog and start another site outside of RebelliousRebel. Then I realized. This whole RebelliousRebel thing was created from me, for me and about me. I believed I lost track of that when I started writing about things others were talking about. Crazy huh? When we take on the attributes of the society and what is considered normal? Or how we downgrade who we and what we like for the sake of gaining some followers or likes. I was never the one for that, but I got caught up in the corporate mindset of numbers and stats totally forgetting why I started this blog. Forgetting what the intended purpose was and why I was given that purpose.
I think I should backtrack for a second and share with you guys why this epiphany suddenly came to me.
Last summer, I was suffering from some major health complications. Complications that were beginning to spiral out of control. I suffered from degenerated disc disease, that once was a medical diagnose of sciatica. I spent the last ten years of my life having to deal with not being able to move, excruciating pain, and constant struggle. Life as I knew it was beginning to fail me. I was choosing between staying in bed or risk the chance of doing more damage to my back. It was not until August of last year that I could no longer bear the pain. I was referred to St. Agnes hospital to see a doctor who specialized in orthopaedic surgery. Now I was not too keen on having surgery you know? I was just going to settle for a cortisone shot and keep on trucking. Then I had to get an MRI. And that is when the devasting news hit me. It was either have spinal fusion surgery or risk the chance of more damage happening. So I went into surgery September 26, 2014, and never looked back.
Recovery has not been easy and the first few weeks after surgery I was angry. Angry that I went through with this. Angry that I was in a brace using a walker to get around. Angry that my skin and body were taking a beating with the medication I was on. Just furious that so much was put on hold. Not to mention that at the time I was still struggling to obtain my degree.
But let’s skip a few months into the future shall we?
I no longer have any pain in my body and I can walk with ease. I received my Bachelor of Arts in Communication Arts/Digital Media Arts from Hood College. My skin is getting back on track and my bodily functions have improved tremendously. Recently started working again at a camp for the summer ( which is great). A thing that I thought I would not be doing for quite some time. I am feeling so much better about life, seeing as I was given a new lease on it by God.
I have learned so much about myself this past season. Learning who I am and what I am for that matter. Finally understood the importance of “Cleaning House” and why that is mandatory. Knowing who really is for you when you are down and out. Understanding that it is okay to say “Guilt will not hold me back”. Never wondering if things will work out because having faith assures me that it will. I would say basically in the midst of me recovering I was delivered in the same process. Delivered from my past life into my new life. A new season of where the doors have finally opened and I can walk through. Never fearing if I will be accepted or rejected because you know we too old to be thinking or feeling that way.
My life has been given a new fresh start and I am not upset. Sometimes you have to start at the beginning again to see what mistakes you made. It is when you do that the journey becomes less stressful and more enjoyable.
Now is the time for preparation, for the next move…………